April 2004

Proposal Finished

11:09, back at work. we finished the proposal last night at about 2am, i went home and watched more pen & tellers bullshit. last nights episode was about the hypocrisy of the drug war. i didn’t fall asleep so fast, surprsingly, so i was up until 3:30 or so. i took some DMAE before i passed out. i’ve noticed that i’ve been having more vivid recall of my dreams recently, i think in part because of the supplements i’ve been taking, but also because i haven’t puffed on the chronic in a while.

if i had internet at home i’d leave my xanga page up before i go to sleep so it’s there immediately when i wake up if i want to write something down. i remembered a lot this morning but now i only remember bits and pieces. i remember spinning at an outdoor party with brian arsenault, and we were tagging on 4 turntables. i played one tune and it didn’t stop playing, we would tease something, then drop out of that, tease something else, drop out of that also, and it would always go back to this same track. i wasn’t coherent enough in the dream to look at the needle and be like WTF?. next time i’ll have to remember to do that.

today should be a really easy day.

what i’m listening to: beck – fourteen rivers, fourteen floods

Another Late Night

3:04pm, but it feels like early morning. today has gone by really fast, not that i’m implying that my day is anywhere close to done. i woke up and had some things in mind that i thought i’d write about today.

i finally got to sleep last night at about 3am, after leaving the office around 2. when i got back i watched a few minutes of pen & teller’s bullshit, i can’t think of a show that i enjoy watching more than that right now. the episode i was watching was about how love is a myth. i watched the first few minutes of it but then decided that i’d finish watching it when i had some more time and wasn’t so tired.

i generally open the blinds before i go to sleep so that the sun comes in and starts to wake me up between 8-9am. when it’s warm i leave the window open to let fresh air in. this morning a giant bumblebee got in, and the sound of it buzzing around the room caught me as i was halfway between sleep and wake. i could tell that it was really big by the loud buzzing sound that it made, but my bee philosophy is that i don’t bother them if they don’t bother me. so a bee flying near me doesn’t alarm or bother me. so it was flying around and i was hoping that it’d find it’s way through the window and back outside when it landed on my face. i kind of freaked, and immediately sat up and it flew off of me. i opened the window and let it outside, wide awake.

then i remembered bits of some dreams i had last night, the most memorable of which kat was in. i dreamt that i was had to sneak away someplace to see her. and when i did, there was this excitement that i’d get caught, but it was this kind of this renegade feeling like i was breaking the rules. i thought about it for about 30 minutes while i was waking up and getting ready to get to work. i generally don’t try to analyze my dreams really deeply and i think that a lot of what my mind produces doesn’t have a logical explanation, and that’s cool with me. i have a feeling that i know that to pursue any emotional engagement with her is a bad idea, but it’s because it’s ideologically forbidden that it’s risky and appealing. like recklessly living on the edge, disregarding all common emotional sense. i haven’t had any kind of inner conflicts in this regard outside of a dream in a while.

well, that’s what i wanted to write about. tomorrow evening i’m going to modern in georgetown to finally check that place out. heard lots of great things about it. enferno and kevork are both playing there, so i’ll bring my camera and get some shots of them and some breakers as well. and the following night is the dc dmc regional, really looking forward to that also, after missing last years.

my records arrived!